Now this ain’t sayin’ I’m cheap, but I’m Scots through and through, and when I can make a whip for almost nothing, it pains me to pay someone $200 for the same product. Here’s directions for the marginally craft-enabled.

Make-Your-Own-Flogger Directions

A good “quick-and-easy-and-cheap; even” flogger. I’ve been trying to get these directions down as text… hard to draw a pic in ascii text. Let me know if any point is unclear.

Basically you need:
doweling or some such handle material (about 9-12 inches)
maybe a strip of lead for the non-tail end of the handle, maybe not..
glue (rubber cement)
upholstery tacks (or broad-headed screw/nails in a pinch)
a bunch of soft leather (like an old coat).

You need a square of leather as long as your desired flogger tails, (I’ve seen as short as 14″, as long as 30″. I’d start with 16-18″ to keep it manageable.) plus about two inches, and as wide as you can make it (the wider the piece of leather, the more tails you’re going to have.) You also can put two leather squares side by side, (try different colours!) but don’t try to make a *whole bunch* of different pieces go together unless you’re better at this than I am.

You can wind the same leather or a different one around the handle, (or not at all, depending on how you want your handle to look). Upholstery tacks and glue work well here, too. Some folks use braiding techniques, or cross-stitching for decoration and grip, but if I wanted that much of a professional looking flogger, I might then go and buy one… Unless I had more time on my hand than I actually do.

Cut the strips about 1/2 inch wide, (1/4 to 3/4 inch is a common range) as desired, but don’t cut them *off* the chunk of leather. Leave a strip of two inches uncut all the way along the top, and slice the tails only that far… like fringe for chaps, except longer… You know you have enough when you temporarily wind the two-inch strip part of the tails fringe around the last two inches of the flogger handle and it feels like you have enough. (some folks like only a few tails, some like a whole bunch…)

When you ‘ve completed the handle (however you want it to look and feel) fix the tails on by anchoring one end (staple, tack, glue) and winding/gluing the strip on *tightly*. Drive a few upholstery tacks through the resulting knob, spacing them around the circumference.

It’s good (IMO) to have a strip wrapped around the non-tailed end of the handle, (about a foot long, one inch-wide strip forming a kind of knob) to hold the keeper loop *and* to stop the flogger from slipping out of your hands. If you want to counter-weight the flogger, this is where you’d hide the weight. Wrap and fix it the same way you do the tails-end, for aesthetic appeal.

Free end of tails can be square-cut, or at a 45 degree angle, depending. Leather oil will add weight, often improve the way it flies… and the more uniformly you are able to cut the flogger tails, width and length, the better it will fly. The more tails, the more thud. The slicker the surface, the stingier it gets. Ditto if the tails are very thin. Experiment with leathers and colours and lengths and weights and widths, and .. and.. have fun making your whip!

Here’s some instructions for making a good, wearable dick harness. It’s somewhat awkward without pictures. If people email me and bug me, I’ll remember to take a few digital pics and slap ‘em up here.

Update — August 2008. I took pictures. Hooray! The discolouration on the green strap below is water, as I couldn’t seem to wait for it to dry completely after laundering.

Do-it-Yourself Stretchy Dil Harness

Ingredients

– Stretchy waistband elastic, 3″ (or more) wide (yes, it comes in black, at your local fabric store)
– Stretchy waistband elastic, 1″ (or more) wide
– 6 regular size snaps (about 1/2 inch or larger) (found in handy little kit in same local fabric store) (instructions in package)
– bit of glue, or needle and thread, or interfacing or some such
– piece of leather (or leather-wannabe like thick rubber) about the shape and size of a bicycle seat (maybe 6″ - 7″ long, 5 - 6″ wide at the top, 2″ wide at the bottom)
– knife or scissors, an awl or hole punch

How to

The leather piece is the codpiece/dil-holder, and the elastic stuff will snap to it, and hold it in place.
The thick elastic goes around your waist, pulled snug, with two snaps on each end of the band attaching to the corresponding two snapettes at each side of the codpiece. (the wide part of the leather shape goes at the top, the skinnier part at the bottom.)
Two straps of the thinner elastic get stitched on to the waistband at the back, one at each side. (Sorta like a jockstrap) These straps cup the buttcheeks, get pulled between your legs, and snap (with one snap each) to the bottom of the codpiece.

What it looks like

If the codpiece were a clock face, the snaps woud be at 1, 2….5,7….10,11 o’clock. All the “snappy” parts face up when it lies flat, face down.

You’ll need to put a hole, corresponding to your preferred dil size, in the codpiece. Best place for it seems to be fairly close to the bottom, or small end, of the codpiece.

The strap part, sewn together, also has all snap attachments facing the same way when you lie it flat. You’ll have one broad strap with two smaller straps sewn perpedicularly at about 1/2 and 2/3 of the length of the bigger strap.

Hints

Tight is good.

You’ll need to reinforce the elastic material where you put the snaps through it, or it will fray something awful. Interfacing, glue-and-leather-strip, zig-zag stitching… I’m still experimenting.

Fit it to youself with strong safetypins through the straps first, then cut and sew.

Strap can be laundered easily by detaching it and chucking it in the washing machine. (Yay!)

SM vs Abuse: Compare and Contrast

SM is done for positive reasons: personal growth and erotic pleasure. It requires the knowledgeable consent of each player, and is often carefully negotiated beforehand. In SM, the situation is controlled. SM play stops immediately when someone uses a safeword, in any scene, at any time, for any reason–physical or emotional. SM players do not make an assumption of the right to control another’s behavior. Players follow guidelines for safe, responsible, positive play, and to act out each player’s desires. After play, both parties feel fulfilled. Good SM play brings players closer together, and is often initiated or requested by the bottom. It is done with the support and knowledge of friends and community.

Abuse temporarily satisfies one person’s need to control or hurt. With no rules or agreed limit, abuse is an uncontrolled act, with out-of-control emotions. A victim of abuse has no rights within the relationship, has no control over when abuse ends, and feels used and hurt afterward. The abuser decides what will happen, and does not respond to the needs, desires or limits of the person they abuse. Abusers mistakenly assume their right to control another by virtue of gender, income, or other similar artificial scale. Done in isolation, a dirty secret, abuse divides relationships and fractures trust.

- Elaine Miller, Feb 2001

Note: The wording and arrangement is of the above piece is the product of my own skull-sweat, and much coffee (It’s meant to be the sidebar of a much larger article on BDSM). I read several sources on the web to get some background ideas for this, including LSM NYC’s page, and some of Jay Wiseman’s excellent work. I also, of course, spoke to several players I knew to get feedback, and then wracked my brain to come up with more. If I can think of any more salient points, I’ll weave them in.