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Calling someone Boy is permission for that person to relax and let his/her sweet (or bratty) and playful side out. Calling someone Girl is my excuse to bring her candy treats just to watch her eyes light up. Go ahead. Giggles are encouraged.

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I’m gonna pose a few questions. Warning: I have no answers, myself…

Defining Dyke Sex

Is It (dyke)Sex or not if:

(1)
Two grrls in a relationship leap upon each other with fingers, fists, dicks,
lube, buttplugs, they stay in bed for hours, emerge sweaty, satiated,
and having both had many orgasms?

(1a)
What if one woman doesn’t have orgasms, or chooses not to?
Bonus question: What if neither do?

(1b)
What if they started, and 10 minutes into their time together, they were
interrupted by a fire alarm, before anyone had gotten really going, or had
an orgasm (which they both were capable of and wanted)?
Bonus question: What about if they were interrupted in the first few
*seconds* of lovemaking?

(1c)
What if two grrls in a relationship leap upon each other with fingers,
fists, dicks, lube, buttplugs, with the kinky intent to make one of the
women have an orgasm in under three minutes? (Timed, and she’s out
of luck if she can’t come by that time?) Is that sex?
Bonus question: What if she can’t quite make it in time?

~~~~~~~~~

(2)
Two grrls in NOT a relationship leap upon each other with fingers, fists,
dicks, lube, buttplugs, they stay in bed for hours, emerge sweaty,
satiated, and having both had many orgasms…

(2a)
Two grrls in NOT a relationship leap upon each other with fingers, fists,
dicks, lube, buttplugs, they spend less than 5 minutes in bed, and then
one of the women’s non-poly, surprised and decieved partner/girlfriend
walks in. Did the two dykes in bed have sex? Does it differ depending
on whose viewpoint one is looking at it from? (Is there ever an end to my
dangling participles?)
Bonus question: Does it change if they were in the backseat of the
aggrieved lover’s car?

~~~~~~~

(3)
Two grrls in a relationship, who do SM, get together to play. One
woman can have orgasms from BDSM activities, without being touched
genitally. While being touched genitally, in a way she perceives as
sexual, she can’t. The other woman has orgasms from genital touching,
but not from BDSM.
Is there ever a situation where one woman could be considered to have
had sex, and the other hadn’t? What if they each hated the alternate-to-
orgasm activity, and did it only to please their partner?

~~~~~~~

(4)
Is any of it ever about orgasm?

~~~~~~~~

(5)
Does the relationship factor change anything in your mind?

~~~~~~~

(6)
Is cyber sex “sex”?
What if it’s with your RL, long term, live-in-the-same-house partner,
who’s off on a business trip?
What if it’s with a stranger, who turns out to be a man masquerading as
a woman? Can a dyke become an accidental cyber-bisexual?
What if it’s with your best friend?
What if a remote-control vibrator (which is controlled by your cyber
partner) is involved?

~~~~~~~~

(7)
Is it sex if two dykes sit in the same room and jerk off while watching
each other?
Is it sex if two dykes sit on the same couch and jerk off while watching
each other?
Is it sex if two dykes sit in each other’s laps jerk off while watching each
other?
Does it count if one helps the other? In order to be “sex”, does it have to
include the moment of orgasm, or can it just be, like, holding the lube
bottle, or maybe a spot of nipple-pinching?
~~~~~~~

(8)
Is it sex if two dykes are in separate rooms, wherein the common wall
is made of plexiglass?
If they are pressed up against each other, with the glass between them?
If the plexiglass transmits heat?
What if the plexiglass has glory holes? Big enough for a dildo? Big
enough for a fist? Big enough for a woman’s head to poke through?
What if the “barrier” is soft and pliable, like clingwrap — or latex?
What if it’s very soft and pliable, but is opaque and soundproof?
How do we feel about dental dams, anyhow?

~~~~~~~

(9)
Is it all about insertion? Clit-rubbing?

~~~~~~~

(10)
Which case is “more like sex”?
a) Two dykes on a private couch kiss for an hour, stroke and caress,
pinch, scratch and pull hair, are totally into each other, completely
focussed, but remain dressed even though they get so wet that their
boxers will never be quite the same…
or
b) Two dykes fuck lackidaisically, (dick and harness) bored with each
other, simmering with hidden resentment, both wishing the other would
come already, so they could feign a leg cramp and stop. One is
fantasizing about k.d. lang, the other about Ellen Degeneres. It’s not
helping.

~~~~~~~~~~~

OK, I could go on for hours like this, but this seems oh-so-much-more
than enough.

Interested in seeing some folks draw lines — write me with your opinions?

-Elaine

Here’s some instructions for making a good, wearable dick harness. It’s somewhat awkward without pictures. If people email me and bug me, I’ll remember to take a few digital pics and slap ‘em up here.

Update — August 2008. I took pictures. Hooray! The discolouration on the green strap below is water, as I couldn’t seem to wait for it to dry completely after laundering.

Do-it-Yourself Stretchy Dil Harness

Ingredients

– Stretchy waistband elastic, 3″ (or more) wide (yes, it comes in black, at your local fabric store)
– Stretchy waistband elastic, 1″ (or more) wide
– 6 regular size snaps (about 1/2 inch or larger) (found in handy little kit in same local fabric store) (instructions in package)
– bit of glue, or needle and thread, or interfacing or some such
– piece of leather (or leather-wannabe like thick rubber) about the shape and size of a bicycle seat (maybe 6″ – 7″ long, 5 – 6″ wide at the top, 2″ wide at the bottom)
– knife or scissors, an awl or hole punch

How to

The leather piece is the codpiece/dil-holder, and the elastic stuff will snap to it, and hold it in place.
The thick elastic goes around your waist, pulled snug, with two snaps on each end of the band attaching to the corresponding two snapettes at each side of the codpiece. (the wide part of the leather shape goes at the top, the skinnier part at the bottom.)
Two straps of the thinner elastic get stitched on to the waistband at the back, one at each side. (Sorta like a jockstrap) These straps cup the buttcheeks, get pulled between your legs, and snap (with one snap each) to the bottom of the codpiece.

What it looks like

If the codpiece were a clock face, the snaps woud be at 1, 2….5,7….10,11 o’clock. All the “snappy” parts face up when it lies flat, face down.

You’ll need to put a hole, corresponding to your preferred dil size, in the codpiece. Best place for it seems to be fairly close to the bottom, or small end, of the codpiece.

The strap part, sewn together, also has all snap attachments facing the same way when you lie it flat. You’ll have one broad strap with two smaller straps sewn perpedicularly at about 1/2 and 2/3 of the length of the bigger strap.

Hints

Tight is good.

You’ll need to reinforce the elastic material where you put the snaps through it, or it will fray something awful. Interfacing, glue-and-leather-strip, zig-zag stitching… I’m still experimenting.

Fit it to youself with strong safetypins through the straps first, then cut and sew.

Strap can be laundered easily by detaching it and chucking it in the washing machine. (Yay!)

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http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1555839479/qid=1133896980/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/002-8677557-9405669?s=books&v=glance&n=283155

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