Elaine Miller
Gaydar (GAY'-dar)
From: Gay Radar, or the mythical seventh, eighth or ninth sense that homosexuals use to identify each other in public spaces, without the use of rainbow flag patches, earring placement or hanky codes.
Wedding Gaydar by Elaine Miller
I was at a straight wedding reception of one of my oldest friends - I mean one of the friends I've known the longest - with my fag best friend Al as my date. It wasn't a passing conspiracy, it just happened that way, that we are both good friends of this lovely woman, and that neither of our partners could make it to the wedding.
We were at the ritziest hotel in Vancouver, I all femme in my tux and Al in a mean purple suit, sipping tea and watching people embarrass the bride, when suddenly I nudged Al.
"Hey, is that a boy or a girl?" indicating one of the well-dressed hotel folk serving us. Now, this is not a question I usually have to ask, but the light was dim, and the staff member far away.
He glanced to where I pointed. "Get off it, sweetie, that's a bio-boy"
I looked again, peering through the gloom.
"Nope, it couldn't be." I decided aloud. "If that was a bio-boy, "he" would be fifteen, and that's way too young to be doing this kind of job. That cute babe there, Al, is a bio-girl-boy"
Al got up and wandered off in search of honey for our tea. He came back grinning.
"Her name is Michelle", he said.
"I hoped so. My, she's yummy looking, and so... deft."
He snorted. I spent the rest of the evening noticing Michelle as she efficiently and politely distributed foodstuffs and drinkstuffs, admiring her dark-haired flat-top, brown skin, sparkling eyes, and talented hands.
When the reception wound down, I took Al out to The (as in The Only) Dyke Bar in town, as a friend was playing music there... About 45 minutes later, as I was standing near the entrance flirting with the coatcheck girl, (I never claimed to be without bad habits) I felt a light and friendly punch on my arm, and as I turned, looked straight into a pair of very mischievous brown eyes...
"Did you enjoy the wedding?" Michelle asked, and escorted her cute femme girlfriend into the depths of the club.
I nearly died laughing.
If I used this plotline as the intro to a little kinky erotica story, no-one would believe it.
Here's to "gaydar", and adorable boydykes.
