Airband Gig Goes Awry

Afire with excitement at a big airband gig we were about to do, KISS THIS's lead singer (read: lead mouther) approached me with an idea: pyrotechnics. I was cynical--an attitude which stood me in good stead even at age 16--and demanded to see a practical application. I watched him sprinkle a few grains of crystal on a petrie dish and toss in a lighted match. A satisfying puff of smoke emerged from very low flames. OK, I said. He was in charge of the flashpots.
Alas, when the night of the gig arrived, and we arrived at the United Church where the airband competition was being held, I became so busy with all our costuming and make-up that I failed to notice Marc placing huge coffee cans of chemicals below the heavy curtains to either side of the church stage. During our frenetic 6 minutes on stage, Marc's pyrotechnic effort blazed 3 feet high and set the stage curtains ablaze. After much ado, KISS THIS was disqualified.
And the name of the song we were lipsyncing? Heaven's On Fire.